Can't Sleep
by Altariel4
Summary: [Complete] Sometimes fate gives you what you want, only to rip it away from you in the most painful way it knows. Dawn MarieJohn Cena


**Summary:** Sometimes fate gives you what you want, only to rip it away from you in the most painful way it knows. Dawn Marie/John Cena  
**Disclaimer:** Vince McMahon owns the names and characters, I own nothing except the plot. If you can even say that, lol.

* * *

Dawn looked at the phone, debating whether to pick up or not. It had been ringing all day, all week in fact, and she knew exactly who it was and why he was calling. Of course he had heard, everyone knew by now. Even the RAW superstars had heard all about how Dawn Marie had gone and fallen for the doctor of Thuganomics, John Cena. Ever since that storyline building up to him becoming U.S. Champion, she had seen him in a new light, wanting to be with him every second of the day. 

And to her surprise, he wanted the same as her, something more than a flirt. He wanted her in that forever and always way that Dawns heart told her she needed him.

Dawn shut her eyes and laid back on the bed. "Better not to think about it," she thought to herself, "it's not like it will help."

As much as she tried not to, no longer hearing the constant ringing of her phone, her mind drifted to the last house show she had been at, a few weeks back. They were so much in love, spent every single minute together. All she ever wanted, needed, she found in him, and he found the same in her. Dawn smiled at the thought of the first time they listened to hip hop music together. John wanted to show her all about himself, and rap and hip hop was a big part of who he was. He even sang with, danced around.. Dawn didn't really appreciate rap until the moment she saw him do that dance.

How she missed that silly dance. And how she loathed the past tense describing their relationship.

She couldn't work even anymore, not on camera, and no signings either. She couldn't control herself anymore, the tears came when they wanted to, and she had no way of making it stop. Vince had surprised her immensely when he had suggested that she took a few months off, after all that had happened, and she took the 'vacation' with pleasure. She needed it, desperately.

"Don't go there Dawn, just don't think about it anymore," she sighed. "And maybe it'll go away..." She knew that it wouldn't. It would never go away, the pain and the sorrow that followed her like the plague. Even in her dreams, the constant returning nightmares she had about... The event that had changed her life.

If needed, she could fool her mind into fabricating the illusion of how he used to smell. Smile. Laugh. She usually did so at night, in the dark, when memories and such became too much.. She hadn't told anyone about it yet, about that night. She couldn't. She hadn't come to terms with it yet, it was still fresh and it hurt. "It hurts **so bad**", she thought. "Why did you have to leave me? Why?!"

Images of the accident flashed before her eyes, tormenting her yet again. "Make it go away," Dawn cried as she hugged her pillow, wishing it could've been John instead.

**FLASHBACK**

_It was dark and raining that night. They were late and had to hurry, neither of the had gotten much sleep. And neither noticed the driver in the opposite lane loose control of his truck. Dawn had yelled out on fright, causing John to jump slightly, and he tried to so hard to avoid the truck. Dawn shivered as she could feel the force of the impact yet again, even as 'just' a memory.  
  
Their car had turned so that the truck smashed straight into where John was sitting. His head had made the worst sound when it cracked open due to impact, something Dawn would **never** forget. There had been so much blood.._

_His blood._

**END FLASHBACK**

Dawn had sustained minor injuries, and the truckdriver was untouched except for a very small concussion. It was so unfair, so damn unfair. Angry tears streamed down Dawns face at this point. She had felt so useless that night. No matter what anyone said, doctors, friends, family... There must have been **something** she could've done that she didn't. Something she could've done to save him like he had saved her.

At night, if she was really quiet, she could almost hear the wind whisper John's last words to her.

**FLASHBACK**

_"I'll always love you Dawnie, no matter what... This wasn't how I had planned to go, but it seems like there's not much I can do about it." John coughed and shifted as much as he could, taking a good look at the love of his life. Even like this, bloodied and tear stained, she was like a goddess. So beautiful.  
  
"Don't you dare talk like that Cena, don't you dare leave me!" Dawn cried, reaching out for his hand, holding it tight.  
  
John smiled weakly. "Even in a time like this.. Don't ever change Dawn, promise me." John coughed violently. "Now let me say this, cause I don't think I have much time left. I know we've only been going out for what? A few months, at least five or six, you know how I am with dates.. anyway..."  
  
His eyes began to slip and his breathing seemed to get steadier, but slower. Each sentence seemed like a struggle.  
  
"Tell everyone I loved them.. That I'll miss them.."  
  
Dawn gave a throaty "Yes, of course.. Of course," and tried not to fall apart.  
  
Another coughing fit came over him. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to make you my wife, I do love you, remember that...that... I... I love... I love you.."  
  
She stroked his cheek and said softly, "I love you too John, I always will. Always," and leaned in to kiss him one last time, one last goodbye.  
  
More tears fell as John closed his eyes for the last time._  
  
**END FLASHBACK**

She felt so guilty for living, there was no point to anything anymore, no point in having a life without him in it. The funeral had been hell, she couldn't even remember half of it. At some point she had just collapsed and had to be taken to the hospital again. After that she didn't really want to talk to anyone. Not even her closest friends, she shunned them all in hope that if she just ignored it, it would all go away. That if she didn't believe it, then maybe it wasn't true. She tried so hard not to believe it, but her heart knew, and it ached.  
  
He was really, truly gone. Maybe he was watching over her, but it was no real comfort. She needed him here, solid and breathing and _alive_. "It should've been me," Dawn thought. "Or both of us." Thoughts like those came and went randomly, sometimes she considered following him, but a nagging fear kept her away from that road. John perhaps, watching out for her, who knew. Dawn ruffled her pillows and decided to go see John again. Relive it all. Again, like every other night since that day. In a way, she almost wanted to. At least in that way, no matter how painful; she would see him again. Hold his hand, and kiss him goodbye, the never ending cycle.  
  
If anyone had been near her room that night, a soft whimper, a wish, filled with emotion, could be heard as Dawn drifted slowly into another nightmare.

"Come back to me John... Please.. Just... _Come back._"

* * *

Well, whatcha think? It's been laying around and I thought it was about time I finished it. Let me know what thoughts you may have! 


End file.
